Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
