thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
