He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dick very happy bro
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