The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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