If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
