I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize