please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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