ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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