By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
