Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
