The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
