well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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