I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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