Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize