I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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