I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
