Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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