She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
