just come out here and I will go home with you...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
