The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
