Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
