she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
