I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
high people should be assigned attendants
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a search helicopter?!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
