He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
