I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize