Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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