Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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