that's an acceptable place to lick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
