It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
