hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
