No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
