I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
