Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
