problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
