i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
