Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
only if we run a train.
done.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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