ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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