Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
