Don't you send me to vm
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
