Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
