problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
