are you so shy because you have an std?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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