That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
