I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
