It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
