Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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