I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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