My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
