Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
