My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
