absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
