Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I need moral support for this bender
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
