why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just googled if crying burns calories
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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