Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
